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I like this word angst, I think it´s very expressive of exactly what I am feeling about the idea of launching my blog and notifying about the existence of the same to my friends, colleagues, acquaintances and other people on my Facebook list.

I have been writing the blog since 9th of September and have now enough of posts to even call it a blog, but I am bit scared for it to “go public”. I even know why. I am afraid that people will think that my writing style sucks and that it is just plain boring. Why shall I even care? I will explain.

I was growing up in the “reading” family. Our house was full of books and thanks to my parents I have acquired a great interest for reading, which I guess quite naturally later developed into writing. I was writing  in school with joy and happiness and my “language and literature” teachers seemed to like my writing style and awarded me with high grades. I did dream then to become a famous writer one day and even my horoscope (Pisces) seemed to welcome the same idea and predicted great success, if choosing the “writing” path.

I was admitted to the faculty of the Journalism and Communications at the University of Latvia, passed highly challenging exams with excellence and was told by the exam comity, that this is definitely the path I shall follow and that I got the talent for writing. I have unfortunately after only one year of schooling left Latvia for Denmark and this is where my creative “writing” experience came nearly to an end. Studying in the Copenhagen Business School did not provide exciting challenges of creative writing what so ever, but rather a possibility to write dry reports about supply and demand and globalization.

I did practice my writing at times when studying and working with PR, Media and Marketing, but again pieces that I have produced were rather far from something you can call inspirational or exciting writing. Throughout all those years I kept on going back to the idea of writing, earning money by writing and going back to what I loved the most – doing creative stuff and using my creativity. I had thought of being a copy writer in the advertising agency or trying writing for some magazine or newspaper, but never acted on it. Living in Denmark also did not provide me with enough of opportunities and I have also been putting some barriers for myself to be honest, saying that even though I am damn good in speaking Danish, writing is another story. One must be perfect and this is not going to fly for me when expressing myself on paper in Danish. Silly excuses of course.

Speaking with an astrologist this march I have been told once again that I have to use my writing skills and even shall think of writing a book. Again I did not act on it anyhow, but thought that I am getting too many signs in the writing direction and now that I am living in Dubai, expressing myself in English shall not be an obstacle if I wanted to.

Some months passed by and one September morning I woke up and finally decided that I shall do something about those writing “signs” and that I should at least try myself by writing a blog. I am proud that I did produce a post every day, but I am also finding myself in the situation, when it is about time to share my blog with my friends and get some feedback on my writing abilities. Do I still have it? Did I ever had it or my teachers were just too kind? Do all Pisces are being told the same thing? I have angst of failing and fear that my writing simply sucks and while I do hope it is not horrible, I guess, I need some honest opinions from my friends and strangers (even better). I promise to get myself together and to produce the post on my Facebook wall saying: “I started writing a blog, check it out on orientalina.wordpress.com and DO tell me what you think about it!”

Inshallah, I will do that today, a Danish one…